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The Guide is an unnamed vampire who assists the Vampiric Council in Staten Island.

She serves as a messenger and summons accused vampires and witnesses to the council. She is notable for constantly moving from place to place by either hovering, or occasionally teleporting too quickly for eyes to follow. She appears in What We Do in the Shadows (TV series).

Biography[]

Early life[]

Active since at least the 15th century, the woman who would come to be known as The Guide lived a highly hedonistic life, over-indulging in dangerous pursuits, bodily pleasures and generally running wild. By her own admision she was "a 'bad vampire", committing such acts as leading the Inquisition and dancing the Dance of the Seven Veils without the veils. While all these carefree antics weren't uncommon amongst vampires, The Guide ultimately crossed a line when she began an affair with a vampire hunter belonging to the famous Van Helsing line and as punishment, she was ordered by the Vampiric Council to assist its local branch located in the Temple of Blood-Devourers.[1] She has done so dutifully since 1759, locking away the most shameful and sordid memories from her old life deep in her mind, eventually forgetting them along with her name.[2]

What We Do in the Shadows (Season 1)[]

As Laszlo, Nadja and Nandor buried the remains of Baron Afanas, a flock of ravens appeared, frightening the vampires. They fled inside their home and were approached by a floating woman at the door, who demanded they appear before the Vampiric Council for their crimes and chastised them for not sending a raven message back.

The vampires arrived at the Temple of Blood-Devourers, where the floating woman guided them through the tunnels to the Council. She brought in the Baron’s familiar and Guillermo to testify, and when the vampires were eventually found guilty she led them to a well to be sentenced to death by exposure to sunlight. The three tried to escape on the way but were apprehended by the guard vampire Ludwig. They however survived the well after Colin shielded them with an umbrella and helped them escape.[3]

What We Do in the Shadows (Season 3)[]

Arriving at the vampire residence after the Staten Island vampires once again ignored her ravens and calls, and effortlessly shrugging off attacks from Guillermo, she announced she beared an important message from the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council. In the form of a VCR recording, Viago congratulated the vampires and revealed to everyone present that, given Guillermo's murder of 70% of the most powerful vampires in the Tri-state area, Colin, Nadja and Nandor were to be named the new Vampiric Council of the Eastern Seaboard of the New World. Initially shocked and dismayed, due to the clear leadership quality drop compared to the countless fearsome and legendary councils she has served before, the Guide nevertheless agreed to assist them, citing the whole thing was above her pay grade anyway.[4]

Trivia[]

  • Her attraction to Guillermo, first shown in The Siren, is implied to stem from her previous affair with another descendant of the Van Helsing family.
  • Based on her description of obsessions and compulsions, each marked by an overpowering "bad things will happen" energy, she relates to Laszlo during The Lamp, she seems to suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Appearances[]

References[]

  1. Johnson, Sam & Marcil, Chris (writers) & Gorskaya, Yana (director) (September 2, 2021). "The Cloak of Duplication". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 22. FX.
  2. Clement, Jemaine (writer) & Waititi, Taika (director) (May 8, 2019). "The Trial". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 7. FX.
  3. Simms, Paul (writer) & Newacheck, Kyle (director) (September 2, 2021). "The Prisoner". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 21. FX.
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