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The Post-Chiropteran Wellness Center cult were a group of vampires who wished to become human and were led to believe they could do so by their leader Jan.

History[]

Jan set up the group in Staten Island at some point prior to 2021. Her motives for doing so were most likely to avoid the responsibilities that came with being a vampire. She ran a regime of nightly activities in the Post-Chiropteran Wellness Center that included aerobics, music, preparing vegan dinners, hula-hooping, cornhole and lessons on aspects of modern human life such as filing taxes, tipping and smiling. Every night the members would ritualistically remove their own fangs, which would always grow back by the following morning, but Jan claimed she was working on a method to make the removal permanent.

When a depressed Nandor investigated Jan for not paying her Vampiric Council union member fees for 132 years, she persuaded him to join the group and he felt much happier as a "human". Guillermo grew concerned for Nandor’s safety and sneaked into the wellness center to check on him during one of Jan's aerobics classes. Jan quickly spotted Guillermo and the group realized he was a vampire hunter. She ordered the group to attack him and he fought back, harming several vampires while dragging Nandor away.

As the injured vampires recuperated, they prepared to turn on Jan. She convinced them all that they had all become human again and encouraged them to run outside and embrace the sunlight. All the cult members burned to death, leaving Jan to wonder how she could gain new members.[1]

Known members[]

Appearances[]

References[]

  1. Robinson, Stefani (writer) & Gorskaya, Yana (director) (October 14, 2021). "The Wellness Center". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 28. FX.
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