Colin Robinson is an energy vampire. He is a main character in What We Do in the Shadows (TV series).

Biography[edit | edit source]

Early life and occupation[edit | edit source]

As an energy vampire, Colin Robinson’s origin is unclear.[3] According to his roommate Laszlo, Colin “came with the house” they reside in. He has lived in the Staten Island residence with fellow vampires Laszlo, Nadja and Nandor since the 1970s at least. Nandor's former familiar Benjy[1] and his current familiar Guillermo have also shared his home. He works in an office and frequently feeds off his co-workers by boring them with inane conversations.[4] Outside of work hours, Colin gains energy by aggravating his roommates[5] and trolling people online.[6]

What We Do in the Shadows (Season 1)[edit | edit source]

Colin annoys his colleagues.

Shortly after the documentary crew arrived, the vampires received a letter from Baron Afanas, a ferocious member of vampire royalty, saying that he will visit them soon. Afanas was brought in a stone coffin to the vampires’ attic. The reunion went badly, with the Baron lamenting the vampires not having taken over New York, and threatening them with death if they do not do so by the time he reawakens. Colin then drained the energy of the virgins the vampires had hoped to feast on (Jenna and Jonathan) before the other vampires could eat them. This left the two humans with no nutritional value and they were allowed to leave alive.[4]

Colin gives a talk at the Staten Island Borough Council meeting.

Reflecting upon the Baron’s demands, Colin suggested the vampires start their plot to take over Staten Island by meeting with Staten Island Borough Council, which Colin regularly attends to feast on the banality. After Colin fed off energy by giving a dull talk on zoning ordinances, Nandor warned the council that he would take over, but was not taken seriously as it had nothing to do with the purpose of the evening’s meeting.[7]

At Colin's suggestion, Nandor decided to treat the junior councilperson Doug Peterson as a “pawn” to take down council president Barbara Lazarro. He hypnotized Doug from a distance and controled his mind. Meanwhile, Laszlo targeted Lazarro to win her favour. He knocks on her door asking if there is any way the city could be improved, she mentioned that the city’s raccoon problem was getting out of control. He lured dozens of raccoons to him with a pungi, killed them, and left their bodies on Lazarro’s front porch.[7] Lazarro was horrified rather than grateful and decried the incident at the next council meeting. Peterson violently insulted and threatened the council, only to be tackled by security. Realising neither plan has worked, the vampires left, apart from Colin, who stayed to feast on the agitation.[7]

A new employee named Evie Russell joined Colin’s office. Upon realising he could not feed off her energy and that she kept telling tragic stories about herself to colleagues, he correctly assumed that she was an emotional vampire feeding off people’s pity. Both vampires cornered another worker, Biff, into a toilet and drained his energy so much that he fell into a coma.[5]

Colin breaks up with Evie.

After work hours, the two vampires confronted each other and had a psychic battle in the office before collapsing to the ground. Realising they are both lonely, they decided to date each other. Colin enjoyed dating Evie and the two drained the office energy heavily. However, after a few weeks, Evie begins to demonize Colin to gain pity from the other office workers, claiming she couldn’t afford to stay at her place and Colin was unwilling to let her stay at his. Realising the relationship was now unhealthy, Colin broke up with Evie and wished her well. She appeared to be upset with this, but was actually using her pitiful state to feed off him again.[5]

Reconsidering their plan to take over New York, the vampires decided to meet with Simon the Devious, the leader of the Manhattan vampires and owner of the popular vampire nightclub The Sassy Cat Club. They met with Simon and he only agreed to join forces if Laszlo handed over his witch skin hat. Laszlo eventually agreed, and Simon went back on his word and kicked the roommates out of the club.[8]

Nandor and Colin discuss how they plan to free Laszlo.

While attempting to eat Phil, the vampires’ new neighbour, Laszlo entered his window in bat form only to be beaten unconscious with a broom by Phil’s girlfriend. As Colin, Nandor and Guillermo planned to get him out, Staten Island Animal Control arrived and took a caged Laszlo to their shelter, with Colin and Nandor in pursuit. Nandor failed to hypnotise the animal control workers into freeing him, so he tried two other methods of infiltrating the holding room: flying into the window as a bat, which only resulted in him accidentally freeing the wrong bat, and transforming into a dog so he could get taken in, which left him trapped in a cage himself. Meanwhile, Colin stayed at the reception to drain the energy of the worker, Bobby. Guillermo called Nadja for help and Bobby was so drained that she easily hypnotized him into giving her the door passcode to let Laszlo and Nandor out.[9]

Colin sensed angry energy from the attic and realised Afanas was finally awakening. The Baron requested to have a ‘night on the town’ with Nandor, Laszlo and Nadja. Afanas borrowed clothes from Colin to fit in. The vampires became intoxicated from drinking the blood of drunken and drugged humans. They just about arrived back at the flat as dawn approached, only for Afanas to burn to death when Guillermo opened the front door, which Colin witnessed the aftermath of.[10]

After burying Afanas, Colin’s vampire roommates were summoned to the Vampiric Council at the Temple of Blood-Devourers to be tried for the Baron’s murder. As the council ruled that all trials should have a local vampire representative, Colin was included as a judge. Guillermo confessed to the murder, only for Nandor to confess instead to keep him safe. The vampires were sentenced to death by sunlight and Colin felt powerless to fight against the decision. The vampires were locked in a well and as the sunlight approached, Colin shielded them with a beach umbrella. Guillermo smuggled the vampires, in bat form, out of the well using a cardboard box.[11]

Nadja turned Jenna into a vampire and tried to teach her how to shapeshift into a bat.[12] Upon overhearing the lesson, Colin revealed that he can transform into a gecko and impressed Jenna by demonstrating this talent.[13]

Colin at the Bi-Annual Vampire Orgy.

When Colin’s household was asked to host the Bi-Annual Vampire Orgy, Colin took part and prepared his basement bedroom for the event. The event was cut short when Jeremy, the human virgin for the vampires to feast on, was seen by the guests having sex with another vampire, Constantin. Despite the early ending, Colin was later seen enjoying a card game with Jeremy and Constantin.[14]

Guillermo had the DNA of all the vampires tested, and Colin found out that he was 100% white. Nandor discovered he had a direct descendant called Madelaine living in Staten Island and tried to greet her at her window, despite Colin warning him not to. The 94-year-old Madelaine collapsed and died at the sight of Nandor. Colin attended her funeral, unaffected by the religious imagery present, but left early to watch TV.[15]

What We Do in the Shadows (Season 2)[edit | edit source]

During the months before the documentary camera crew returned, Colin spent so much time at the DMV that they allowed him to have a driver’s licence. He used it to buy a convertible and block the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel, infuriating the other drivers. Meanwhile, the Vampiric Council sent ten vampire assassins to the Staten Island residence to try to kill the residing vampires, including Colin. None of the vampires noticed as Guillermo successfully and secretly killed all of them.[16]

Laszo and Nadja adopted a new familiar named Topher and all the vampires treated him more favourably than they did with Guillermo. Colin did however have difficulty feeding off Topher due to his optimism. When Topher accidentally electrocuted himself to death trying to reset a water heater, the vampires decided to hire Wallace, a necromancer, to resurrect him. Colin missed the resurrection to watch a performance of Thornton Wilder’s Our Town at the nearby Staten Island School for the Performing Arts. When Topher returned to the house, it became clear he was a zombie, but only Guillermo noticed. The two familiars got into a violent fight, which Colin was unfazed by, and the vampires only realised Topher was a zombie when he tried to kill Guillermo and Nandor was unable to kill him. Wallace offered the household name keychains as a refund for his poor service.[16]

Colin takes part in a séance.

Colin began to experiment with using humour to drain energy. One night, several objects around the house were misplaced and vandalised, and the vampires realised they had a ghost infestation. The vampires held séances which brought back the ghost of Nadja’s former lover Jeff Suckler, followed by the ghosts of Nadja, Laszlo and Nandor’s human forms that died when they became vampires. Colin helped Nandor's ghost address his unfinished business by joining him and Nandor in another séance to bring back the ghost of his former horse, Jahan. Later, Colin held a séance alone and temporarily summoned the ghost of his grandmother just so that he could finally tell the “updog” joke that he had been bothering his roommates with.[3]

Colin at the Superbowl party.

Colin and his roommates were invited to a Superbowl party by their neighbour Shaun. The other vampires became so distracted by other issues that Colin was free to feed off the energy of the male guests all evening, to the point where one of them urinated themselves while in a deep sleep.[17]

Colin’s vampire roommates became terrified when Nandor read an old chain email saying that he had been cursed by Bloody Mary and that he must pass on the email to ten more people in order to lift the curse. They worked frantically to try and find ten email addresses to pass it on and eventually received enough with Colin’s help, although he did take it as an opportunity to bore and feed off them in the process.[18]

Colin Robinson was promoted to a management position at his workplace, which initially upset him as it meant less time at home to socialize with his immortal roommates. However, he quickly thrived within the role as he had more influence over his colleagues who now had no choice but to listen to him. Colin’s powers began to grow as fed from more energy in the office, and he used his psychic abilities to enrage his arguing roommates, creating an even stronger source of energy.[19]

Colin's hair grows back due to his intense power.

Colin’s powers increased at an alarming rate. His hair suddenly grew back, he gained the ability of flight and could even drain the life-force of colleagues and plants by merely addressing them. His roommates continued to argue with each other and he drained them until they became too weak to continue. The vampires begged for mercy, but Colin rejected it, claiming that they never treated him as a friend as they never listened to him or cared about his promotion. Colin then multiplied himself, creating two more copies, and declared them to be his new friends, but they became embedded in a boring discussion over their own nicknames. They feasted off each other’s energy for sixty-three minutes until they all bored themselves to death. Colin’s roommates recovered and dragged the Colins’ bodies into the yard for a burial. They all recalled genuinely fond memories of him and expressed great appreciation for him. As they started to fill the grave with earth, the original Colin suddenly awakened, admitting that he pretended to dead in order to hear his eulogy. His clones remained dead and Guillermo buried them.[19]

Colin’s company went out of business as his rampant energy draining destroyed all productivity in the office. Colin, now back to his normal level of power, wandered into a new similar office and introduced himself as a new employee, feasting on the workers in the process.[19]

One night, Colin’s household was approached by a vampire named Jim, demanding Laszlo pay back his debt for not paying the rent and security deposit of Jim’s beach house one hundred and sixty-seven years ago. Laszlo’s response was to run away and temporarily flee to Clairton, Pennsylvania, refusing to disclose his new identity (Jackie Daytona) and location to his roommates. Nadja was devastated at this time and turned to Colin for consolation, who only really used it as an opportunity to feed off her energy with an awkward unwanted kiss attempt. Colin also tried to flirt with Nadja's ghost (who was now possessing an antique doll), but she wasn’t interested.[19]

Colin meets a real-life troll.

Colin used trolling to gain energy on the internet. One user, "Norman Hule", kept making comebacks to Colin’s trolling, and even messaged Colin a threat, which made him so angry that he tracked down Norman and got a lift all the way from Staten Island to Medford, Massachusetts. At night, Colin finally arrived at the café and found Norman, who turned out to be a real-life troll. The two began to argue, with Norman taking offense at the word “trolling”, and the two had a boring and pointless conversation all night, with Colin keeping Norman too bored to attack him. As the sun rose, Norman started to turn to stone, and Colin declared himself to be the ‘champion’ troll. Before he could celebrate, Norman grabbed his arms and solidified, leaving Colin trapped for the day.[20]

Colin at the open mic night.

When Nadja and Laszlo reminisced about the music they wrote together, Colin overheard their performances. As an opportunity to feast on the audience’s energy, he encouraged the duo to take part in a “concert” he organised, which was actually an open mic night. Colin feasted on the annoyance of the audience, who booed the couple until they started performing their “seafaring” song from 1792, which was actually Kokomo, as covered by the Beach Boys.[1]

Colin tries to escape the room of doors.

Laszlo and Nandor were kidnapped by a coven of witches. Guillermo drove after them with Nadja and Colin to their hideout, an aromatherapy store in Brooklyn. The three were captured and locked in a strange room covered in doors until Guillermo found the exit. They progressed into a room where the witches were about to extract Laszlo and Nandor’s semen through the use of eighteenth century surgical tools. Upon seeing Colin, who took credit for the escape, they shackled him for use as well. Guillermo saved the vampires by offering to sell the witches a regular supply of Laszlo and Nandor’s semen so the coven would not run out or harm the vampires. The witches agreed to this, but turned down Guillermo’s offer to also sell them Colin’s.[21]

Guillermo eventually became too distracted by his possible vampire hunter heritage and left the house, causing the vampires to struggle without him. They were all invited to the exclusive Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires event, not realising it was a trap set by Vladislav of the Vampiric Council. Guillermo later realised what was happening and made his way to the theatre. At the event, the four vampires were bound to their seats and forced to watch a re-enactment of them killing Baron Afanas, Ludwig, multiple Council assassins and the Hustle Dynasty (all of which were actually victims of Guillermo). As Vladislav prepared to execute the roommates on stage, Nandor claimed Guillermo was responsible and that he had been killed, but this was not believed. Guillermo then swung onto the stage and killed almost the entire cast and audience, thus saving his masters.[2]

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • As an energy vampire, Colin is unsure of what his living status is. As a ghost version of him did not appear when his roommates held a séance, he may not be undead. Alternatively, he may not have any unfinished business.[3]
  • He never found out what the purpose of his first office was for.[19]
  • Topher is the only person who has been shown to resist Colin's attempt at draining them.[16]

Behind the Scenes[edit | edit source]

  • The FX YouTube channel features several videos of Colin reading “bedtime stories” to bore the viewer. Books he has read include Meditations by Marcus Aurelius,[22] The Art of Public Speaking by Dale Carnegie[23] and The Origin of the Species by Means of Natural Selection by Charles Darwin.[24]
  • In “The Curse”, Colin reveals his email address to be travelbug54@aol.com, because he "likes to travel". When several viewers sent emails to this address, they received a newsletter from Colin.[25]
  • Instead of turning into a bat, Colin can turn into a gecko.

Gallery[edit | edit source]

Appearances[edit | edit source]

References[edit | edit source]

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 Johnson, Sam & Marcil, Chris (writers) & Gorskaya, Yana (director) (May 27, 2020). "Collaboration". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 18. FX.
  2. 2.0 2.1 Johnson, Sam, Robinson, Stefani & Simms, Paul (writers) & Newacheck, Kyle (director) (June 10, 2020). "Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 20. FX.
  3. 3.0 3.1 3.2 Simms, Paul (writer) & Newacheck, Kyle (director) (April 15, 2020). "Ghosts". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 12. FX.
  4. 4.0 4.1 Clement, Jemaine (writer) & Waititi, Taika (director) (March 27, 2019). "Pilot". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 1. FX.
  5. 5.0 5.1 5.2 Lieb, Josh (writer) & Clement, Jemaine (director) (April 10, 2019). "Werewolf Feud". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 4. FX.
  6. "A Shadows Short: Electronic Energy Drainage" - FX
  7. 7.0 7.1 7.2 Simms, Paul (writer) & Clement, Jemaine (director) (April 3, 2019). "City Council". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 2. FX.
  8. Scharpling, Tom (writer) & Clement, Jemaine (director) (April 17, 2019). "Manhattan Night Club". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 3. FX.
  9. Sarkies, Duncan (writer) & van Beek, Jackie (director) (April 24, 2019). "Animal Control". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 5. FX.
  10. Morris, Iain (writer) & van Beek, Jackie (director) (May 1, 2019). "Baron's Night Out". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 6. FX.
  11. Clement, Jemaine (writer) & Waititi, Taika (director) (May 8, 2019). "The Trial". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 7. FX.
  12. Robinson, Stefani (writer) & Woliner, Jason (director) (May 15, 2019). "Citizenship". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 8. FX.
  13. "A Shadows Short: Non-Bat Form" - FX
  14. Sawyer, Marika (writer) & Woliner, Jason (director) (May 22, 2019). "The Orgy". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 9. FX.
  15. Clement, Jemaine, Robinson, Stefani, Scharpling, Tom and Simms, Paul (writers) & Waititi, Taika (director) (May 29, 2019). "Ancestry". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 10. FX.
  16. 16.0 16.1 16.2 Sawyer, Marika (writer) & Newacheck, Kyle (director) (April 15, 2020). "Resurrection". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 11. FX.
  17. Bender, Jake & Dunn, Zach (writers) & Newacheck, Kyle (director) (April 22, 2020). "Brain Scramblies". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 13. FX.
  18. Naftalis, Sarah (writer) & Johnson, Liza (director) (April 29, 2020). "The Curse". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 14. FX.
  19. 19.0 19.1 19.2 19.3 19.4 Gohd, Shana (writer) & Clement, Jemaine (director) (May 6, 2020). "Colin's Promotion". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 15. FX.
  20. Clement, Jemaine (writer & director) (May 20, 2020). "The Return". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 17. FX.
  21. Meny, William (writer) & Newacheck, Kyle (director) (June 3, 2020). "Witches". What We Do in the Shadows. Episode 19. FX.
  22. "Energy Vampire Bedtime Stories: Meditations" - FX
  23. "Energy Vampire Bedtime Stories: The Art of Public Speaking" - FX
  24. "Energy Vampire Bedtime Stories: Origin of Species" - FX
  25. "Ok. This is hillarious. How many others emailed Colin Robinson and got this back? True gem." - Reddit
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